Sunday, November 18, 2007

Vegan MoFo: You have given me cake when I have asked for bread and butter!

It's tea time!
Here's my vegan confession: when I first thought about changing my diet, I was planning on becoming 95% vegan, but allowing myself a little cheese at fancy restaurants every so often, and Devonshire cream whenever I went to tea in England. When I realized that I could be 100% vegan and be happy (and take a load off my conscious), the only thing I thought I would really miss was clotted cream. It's not that I have any special affection for raw milk goo; it's just that it's such a quintessential part of tea time. To miss the clotted cream is to miss the experience.

Fortunately, you can't actually get Devonshire cream outside of England--as aforementioned, it's made with raw milk, which makes it both not vegan and not legal. I grew up watching my mom make a substitute with cream cheese, so I decided to get out the Tofutti and see what I could do.

I didn't want to just add sugar to my vegan cream cheese. First of all, it's rather uncreative, second of all, my Mom's fake clotted cream was always a little too sweet and tangy--sorry Mom! But I admit, I didn't exactly do a whole lot more than that. Clotted cream is mostly fat anyway, so Earth Balance seemed like the perfect addition to mellow out the cream-cheesey taste of the Tofutti. A small amount of sugar evened out the sourness (is that a word? It looks misspelled), and a little bit of soy creamer smoothed it all out.

The verdict? I personally had to restrain myself from eating it with a spoon before my guests arrived, but I'm glad I did, because they both had two scones (orange-glazed from Vegan with a Vengeance) and positively slathered them with my clotted non-cream. One friend told me that she couldn't taste a difference between my concoction and the Devonshire cream she ate in England. Another friend, a self-proclaimed carnivore (he claims to be unable to make a salad without bacon grease. I claim that if it weren't for all the coke he does, he'd be fat), was still raving about tea time chez Gwenlet at a party a week later. Mission accomplished!

This isn't much of a recipe, but it does seem to be the magic formula, so it is with great pleasure that I share it with you:

Clotted Non-Cream
2 Tbsp. Earth Balance, cold
2 Tbsp. Tofutti Cream Cheese, cold
1 Tbsp. Vanilla soy creamer
1 Tbsp. + 1 tsp. powdered sugar

Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl (or large cup) until they’re incorporated. Mix with a hand blender to remove all the chunks. Let sit in the refrigerator for 10 minutes or more to thicken before serving. Serve with scones and a British dialect.


Coppe said...

This is great! I'll remember this and throw an elaborate high tea this Christmas.

Jeani said...

This is so funny, I was just reading about clotted cream this morning thinking, man, it's kind of sad I can't have tea with something decadent like that, et voila, your recipe shows up. Cheers!

bazu said...

Um, I love you?

Seriously, some of my most missed non-vegan foods are clotted/curdled dairy products of some sort (how gross does that sound?): clotted cream, creme fraiche, cottage cheese, curds...

I'll try your recipe for sure. Bring on the scones!

Gwenlet said...

Aw, I'm so glad that everyone's appreciative!

cat said...

This is fantastic. My life if now complete!!! I am definitely making this for my non vegan family for Christmas morning breakfast. I know they will all be so surprised when I bust out the vegan clotted cream! (my parents think they're brits)

- cat at

CinnaZimt said...

This was amazing. My girlfriend spent time studying at Oxford... years later she's still talking about clotted cream, despite her being staunchly vegan. I made this tonight and surprised her with some scones and clotted cream when she got home. You made her VERY happy.

(We made some more and she used less sugar, but I like it the way it was.)